It all started buying a new pair of glasses! I blindly (excuse the pun) expected to purchase a pair of glasses with little ado….eye test done, new frames chosen….voila! But then a protracted dilemma was drawn out by the choice and quality of lenses. I expect a pair of lenses to help me see, but I didn’t know that the quality of lenses, the thickness, the curvature, the coating, blah, blah, blah, would “enhance my sight even further, if I upgraded from the bronze quality to the gold quality. Whaaaat? The lengthy explanation that I would be able to see better for night driving…well yes, to see better would be most helpful! I started to feel anxious. In fact the whole process fed into my anxious brain…which presumably this selling psychology is supposed to do, to persuade me to spend far more money in upgrading from a lense that I might not be able to see the road in high definition, to one where I have super duper night road vision so that I don’t crash and die! Of course I ended up paying a stupid amount of money for the “premium” lense, as I long for the best vision possible, not to crash and die and I don’t want a pair of glasses that look like a pair of swimming goggles.
This process of what I now reflect upon as a form of insidious “selling” psychology seems to have permeated across the board . I think the official term is “upselling”. I have been busy trying to get into the “business lingo” while doing my business plan. Researching for my business plan….yes, I know I have started the business, but that’s me I tend to do everything backwards, leap in and learn along the way. Anyway, in my research I have been surprised at the amount of “business terminology” and upselling packages, in what is a people, not a product driven environment. I am quite baffled as to why anyone in the “helping people” sector are offering for example, the same models as for buying glasses, that is, a Bronze, Silver or Gold selection or a “VIP” package, because to me that gives the impression that the Bronze service is an “inferior” service to the Gold package or I’m not a VIP, because I can’t afford to be one. As a potential client I would be dismayed to think that a bracket of money would only entitle me to a part of a full service….again feeding into my “anxious” brain, that I could possibly be missing out on the advantages of the full “VIP” or “Gold” package. Using the very language of Bronze, Silver and Gold or anything similar has subliminal links with Competitive activities and the corporate world.
During the last ten years of coaching vulnerable adults and children, they have always got the very best from me, there were all VIP’s in my eyes, people that needed extra TLC and support and I would constantly brainstorm in the most creative ways how to connect with each individual, no matter how challenging, to facilitate some form of “lightbulb” moments. Even when some told me to “f***k o** I would wait for another opportunity, usually involving the art supplies.
I truly hope that you won’t feel the need to use expletives as my approach to coaching is that everyone gets 100% of The Weller Way, I have a flat fee for which in return I hope you will feel that you have gained personal reflection and a valuable insight into the most important job in the world. There is no upselling with me, because that in my opinion is disingenuous. Generally people seek help from Coaches because they feel they are “not performing” in an area of their life, using competitive jargon in my opinion is counter productive. “Not performing well enough” is an indictment on our society’s fast paced, perfection seeking, driven , ambitious culture and this is sadly filtering into our attitude about parenting. We strive to be the best parents that we can be, and that is natural, but not at the expense of beating ourselves up that we are not good enough because we are constantly making comparisons with others. Children are wonderfully forgiving, for most of the time, because they are hard-wired to seek a strong attachment with us, as long as we remember to apologise when we get it wrong. The Weller Way encourages and helps you to re-frame your thought processes from a stance of not good enough and feeling unable to juggle the demands of family life to feeling good enough, that you have a strong and secure connection with your child through which you can implement effective boundaries that are respected and can withstand whatever challenges are thrown your way. Parenting is tough, as the Duchess of Cambridge reminded us recently , but it isn’t a competition, it’s a warts and all journey of unconditional love and building connection that can be strengthened by a little bit of coaching. The Weller Way can guide you along a pathway, which encourages the following components to create a fully functional family:
P for Partnership
A for Authenticity
T for Trust
H for Heart.
Whether it’s a few sessions, or the full Circle of Security training, I can help you feel more confident in ambling along your unique path. I hope that you can discover that being a real and not a perfect parent is something to aim for.
I offer follow up emails, summarising each session and am on hand for any “emergency” advice in between sessions via email. Oh….and there is always a little bit of homework! So, in those homework fuelled meltdowns, you can tell your children that Mum and Dad get homework too!
“When you do things from your soul,
you feel a river moving in you,